Friendship and Wellness

The only way to have a friend, is to be one.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

Healthy friendships are a great benefit to us. They help provide the emotional safety net we need in difficult times. In good times, they provide acceptance and stimulation that enrich our lives.

The numbers of people who say they have no friends might be more than you would expect. Both men and women report similar reasons for their lack of friends.

Some might not trust others enough to have close friendships. Others feel that they would "burden" others with their concerns and so they maintain a distance. Still other people say they have no opportunity to meet others or the time to spend with them to build friendships.

Consider these ideas:

Make an effort to make new friendships. Look for opportunities to meet others and communicate with them.

Broaden you perspective with the type of friend you can have. Different age groups, different backgrounds; consider those you might not have considered before.

Get involved in activities that put you closer to others. Sports, church, civic groups, where ever there are people getting together.

Take a risk. Be the first one to make an offer to get together for lunch, coffee, or just to "stop by sometime" to watch a sports game on TV.

Don't beat yourself up if it doesn't work out. Try to accept that some people will not prefer our company. It works that way for all of us. That's okay.

Give it time. Building the trust it takes to be friends can't be rushed. Some take longer than others.

You don't have to evaluate someone for "best friend" status. Take them for who they are. A special purpose friend, like a fishing buddy, is fine.

We tend to like people who like us. Be friendly. This should be a number one priority.

Start close to home and work out from there. We probably already have close contact with neighbors and co-workers. Take the next step.

We tend to be friends with others we see often. These are ready-made opportunities.

Put in the time it takes to be friends. Make them a priority when available to you.

We can do these things at any time, regardless of our past track record. Recognize the need for more friendships and make the effort. Having more friends is like having money in the bank; you can't have too many or too much.

Live Well.