The Power of Choice

The strongest principle of growth lies in human choice.
-George Eliot

Many people think that happiness is like an object to be found; they only need to look long enough to get it. In a worse case scenario, some might wait for the "right situation" to come to them. This can be in the form of money, a love interest, a job, or just plain good luck. Years can pass while we wait for things to go our way.

In reality, happiness is a by-product of who we are and what we do. It's true that bad things sometimes happen to good people, but we can still make choices, based on our beliefs, in the worst of circumstances.

Who we are is, in large part, all that we believe about ourselves and what we believe about everything else. This is why examining our thoughts is so important to improve our lives. They come from what we believe and they are reinforced by what we say to ourselves about our life experiences.

We all know someone who never seems to get what they want. Things somehow don't work out for them very often. Sometimes they make efforts to do something about the state of their lives and other times they just keep doing what they have always done. Most often, their core beliefs about themselves and the world don't change.

In daily life we can practice a technique to help us examine our thoughts, beliefs, and actions. Next time you feel a distressing thought, ask yourself what is at the center of it.

For example, if I say "hello" to someone who doesn't respond in kind, I can think, "What is your problem", or "maybe they didn't hear me" or even "they must not like me". Some or none of these might be true. All of these self-statements are attempts at explaining an experience to ourselves.

Make a conscious choice to believe the least irritating version.

No, this doesn't change the reality of the situation but it can change your experience of it. Actively avoid making the most painful or angry choice.

This is only a portion of the process. By itself, it might look like self-delusion. It is actually part of a coordinated effort to change beliefs, expectations, and our life experiences.

The greatest tool to improve our lives is already within us; it is the power of choice.

Live Well.