Your Good Relationship- part 2

Dwell as near as possible to the channel in which your life flows.
--Ralph Waldo Emerson

Good relationships are made up of many elements. In our series on maintaining wellness in our relationships, we identify those small parts that add up to the satisfying whole. The series is based on the 20 Basic Rules for a Happy Marriage but they apply to most of our intimate relationships as well.

People often describe having fallen into a rut with their partners. There is a feeling of dull sameness to the relationship and maybe even a lack of interest in one another.

We all like satisfying patterns in our lives, but we have to decide if we have drifted into a limiting rut or simply developed a comfortable rhythm.

The key is to keep the relationship dynamic. We are not necessarily referring to wild excitement here. But, we have to balance our need for relaxing time together (and apart) with our need to keep life interesting for ourselves as a couple.

A dynamic relationship has something interesting going on that stimulates the couple, enriching their lives together. The activity provides an opportunity to build a shared sense of satisfaction, support and accomplishment. And just as important, it can promote having fun together.

Try to always have a project going as a couple. Collecting, gardening, regular exercise, weight loss program, dancing, making new friends, etc.

Avoid making an unhealthy activity "our time" together. Going to bars, watching TV, or any activity that doesn't fit your idea of healthy, is unlikely to have a positive effect on your relationship.

Make it a fun thing just to be looking for new activities. You don't have to do them all but the process of searching can be fun in itself.

Plan a vacation that you both would enjoy and go.

Include your kids as much as you can but set aside some time that focuses on your partner exclusively as well.

Make it a regular weekly event like an end-of-the-week massage night, movie night, dinner outing, or local trip to a favorite location.

Developing interests together as a couple can be fun in itself. If it turns to drudgery to search out new activities, take a week off and start again, maybe on a smaller, less regimented scale. Maintaining your good relationships is worth the effort.

Live Well.