Friday, December 19, 2014

Couples In Crisis: Just Give Me What I Want

I've been working with a lot of couples recently and I'm reminded of one of the fundamental questions in maintaining our primary relationships, "Am I getting what I want?"

And just as important, "Am I willing to give you what you want?"

Each individual in a couple chooses to give their partner what they want and need.

Or, they choose not to do so.

In times of conflict it can be easy to believe that we need to control the amount of satisfaction we give our partner. It can be one way we feel in control of the situation.

Under stress we may see this question of how much to give, and get entangled with all the specifics of a given situation.

But it still comes down to the fundamental question,"will you give me what I want? Will you TRY?"

This is one form of commitment needed to survive as a couple.

Half measures may be tempting if we are trying to maintain some control of our level of commitment. And this is a mistake if we want the relationship to last beyond the crisis.

You may ask yourself, "Am I willing to be 100% committed to Trying to give my partner what they want, or not?"

If the answer is "yes", you then have a starting point for negotiating what that need is, and how to meet it.

Frustration and resentment can claw at you during this time. Stay focused on the process to reach solutions.

Be patient and be gentle with one another in stressful times. Enduring your own vulnerability is often the biggest challenge to success.

Remind yourself that you are a team and not competitors. And you will get thru this.

And ask for the help you need in getting an unbiased third perspective on your partnership.

Email me for more input on your specifc situation.

Live well! Together.

-- Rich

Friday, December 5, 2014

I'm writing a book on Happiness

Hi everybody, it has been a few weeks since my last post and I want to update you on what's happening with me. I've been focused on writing an e-book on Happiness for some time now and I can see the end in sight.

I wanted a resource that answered many of the questions I receive most often about how to be happy. This book should do that and I've learned a lot in writing it too.

It will have not only the elements of happiness to use in your life but also what to avoid to keep happiness alive and how to create a Happiness Plan to keep you focused.

Its not finished but all is moving forward quickly. I will keep you updated on my progress along the way. Thanks for your patience and thanks for reading!

-- Rich